Once again, I am short on ideas, so I went with the prompt generator:
"If I were a superhero, I would be..."
If I were a superhero, I would be very bad at my job. I'm fat, lazy, and I genereally prefer keeping to myself. Realistically, putting on a pair of goofy looking tights and running around battling other people in goofy looking tights just wouldn't appeal to me. Sure, when I was a kid, I thought it would be fun, but these days, I know it's not for me.
I'd much rather be a villain of the criminal mastermind type. That sounds like a much better sort of gig. You've got minions to do the fighting and goofy costume wearing. You get loads of money. You get all the best women, except for the female super heroes. If you're really good at it, no one will even know who you are, or what you look like, so you just need to get your minions to delay the heroes long enough for you to get away.
Just to note, I wouldn't want to be the sort of villain who goes around killing people. I don't really care for unnecessary violence. I would much rather be the sort of villain who pulls off really cool robberies.
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